Laid Off!!!

I have been in this weird funk for the last couple of weeks. It seemed like nothing was going my way. Like that ever happens anyway right!!?? Usually with I feel depressed I usually have a bad day or two but it never lasts for more than 2 days or so. So three weeks of feeling this way was really hard. I was talking to my mom and she said that if I continue to feel like this then I may want to think about medication. So I thought about that and was going to go and talk to someone about it. WELL!!!......a couple of weeks ago my boss called me into her office and said that she isn't going to be able to keep me on if I didn't schedule some appointments for her. She also said that she thought I was depressed. Honestly just her saying that made me so sad and I felt like I was going to loose it. She told me think about it over the weekend and take off the next Monday and then call her and tell her what my decision was.

Like okay and some junk! Keep reading....


So I made the best of that weekend. I went to a girls retreat with these ladies from this support group that I go to. It was up past Pine View. It was a cabin owned by this ladies in-laws. It was georgous!! We got free massages too. We all talked till at 2:30 in the morning. Then before I went to bed I took a nice warm bubble bath. It was great. Then on Saturday we cleaned and packed up and went home. Later that afternoon I went to the Airport to see my Dad. He had a layover fora bout 2 hours so the kids and I and Kevan visited with him. It was good to see him, It will probably be the only time I get to see him this year. I thougt about the whole job thing and just figured that I need a job so I will just step it up a little and do better. So that's what I was going to tell Cindee...


So I was just chillin' on Monday and Cindee called me and said that she was going to have to lay me off because she couldn't afford to keep me on anymore. My heart started to beat so fast and with all my might I didn't cry on the phone with Cindee. I got off the phone and was like..."What in the heck just happened?" Holy crap I'm unemployed. What am I going to do??? I have kids that I need to support and a house payment and all this other emotional stuff that I am dealing with. Do I REALLY have to worry about a job now?? So I acted as cool as I could for the rest of the day. Then that night after I put the kids to bed I text my brothers A and E and told them the sad news. Well not 30 seconds after I sent the text my brother Andrew called me and told me how sorry he was. I started to cry....I cried and cried and sobbed and sobbed to him. I told him that I was so close to loosing hope, that I THOUGH that I WAS special so why is it always one thing after another and how I felt SO weak. He said the most wonderful, uplifting things to me, things that only he could say he just has a way with words...he was crying right along there with me. We talked for like an hour and a half. I got off the phone and went to bed. That night when I said my prayers I thanked my Father for everything he had ever given me (too many to list!!) and asked him if he would lift the burden. Pleaded is more like it. Have you ever cried so much that your eyes hurt? Well every time that happens...I sleep really good that night!! I woke up the next morning and and my heart was light again!! The pain was lifted. I felt soooo much better. Talking to my brother really helped me. Praying made it all better though. It was a miracle.

Now I just need to find a job!!! So pray for me please!! I know that it will work out, I just know it!!