Laid Off!!!

I have been in this weird funk for the last couple of weeks. It seemed like nothing was going my way. Like that ever happens anyway right!!?? Usually with I feel depressed I usually have a bad day or two but it never lasts for more than 2 days or so. So three weeks of feeling this way was really hard. I was talking to my mom and she said that if I continue to feel like this then I may want to think about medication. So I thought about that and was going to go and talk to someone about it. WELL!!!......a couple of weeks ago my boss called me into her office and said that she isn't going to be able to keep me on if I didn't schedule some appointments for her. She also said that she thought I was depressed. Honestly just her saying that made me so sad and I felt like I was going to loose it. She told me think about it over the weekend and take off the next Monday and then call her and tell her what my decision was.

Like okay and some junk! Keep reading....


So I made the best of that weekend. I went to a girls retreat with these ladies from this support group that I go to. It was up past Pine View. It was a cabin owned by this ladies in-laws. It was georgous!! We got free massages too. We all talked till at 2:30 in the morning. Then before I went to bed I took a nice warm bubble bath. It was great. Then on Saturday we cleaned and packed up and went home. Later that afternoon I went to the Airport to see my Dad. He had a layover fora bout 2 hours so the kids and I and Kevan visited with him. It was good to see him, It will probably be the only time I get to see him this year. I thougt about the whole job thing and just figured that I need a job so I will just step it up a little and do better. So that's what I was going to tell Cindee...


So I was just chillin' on Monday and Cindee called me and said that she was going to have to lay me off because she couldn't afford to keep me on anymore. My heart started to beat so fast and with all my might I didn't cry on the phone with Cindee. I got off the phone and was like..."What in the heck just happened?" Holy crap I'm unemployed. What am I going to do??? I have kids that I need to support and a house payment and all this other emotional stuff that I am dealing with. Do I REALLY have to worry about a job now?? So I acted as cool as I could for the rest of the day. Then that night after I put the kids to bed I text my brothers A and E and told them the sad news. Well not 30 seconds after I sent the text my brother Andrew called me and told me how sorry he was. I started to cry....I cried and cried and sobbed and sobbed to him. I told him that I was so close to loosing hope, that I THOUGH that I WAS special so why is it always one thing after another and how I felt SO weak. He said the most wonderful, uplifting things to me, things that only he could say he just has a way with words...he was crying right along there with me. We talked for like an hour and a half. I got off the phone and went to bed. That night when I said my prayers I thanked my Father for everything he had ever given me (too many to list!!) and asked him if he would lift the burden. Pleaded is more like it. Have you ever cried so much that your eyes hurt? Well every time that happens...I sleep really good that night!! I woke up the next morning and and my heart was light again!! The pain was lifted. I felt soooo much better. Talking to my brother really helped me. Praying made it all better though. It was a miracle.

Now I just need to find a job!!! So pray for me please!! I know that it will work out, I just know it!!

This and That!

I shouldn't have said in my last post that I don't mind little trials that come up! It's a bunch of crap!! I get so annoyed with my life sometimes. These past two weeks have been really hard for me! I can't seem to get out of this weird funk that I'm in. I wish that my life was just better. I almost wanted to say perfect...but please...we all know that that doesn't exist right!!?? I made all of these goals at the beginning of the year. I was going to conquer the world! I was going to really make my situation better. But then poop got in the way and I can't seem to find a shovel big enough to move it out of the way and continue on with what I want to do! ARRG!!

Anyway!!! I gave Emerald a little Princess Birthday party on Friday and it was a lot of fun!! I had all of the girls dress up on princess dresses when they came. They were all soooo cute! Emerald was so excited about her party and welcomed all of her guests by running around the Primary room at church and yelling!! We played a couple of games and then opened presents! It was so funny though. She would open a present and I would whisper in her ear that she needed to say thank you so she would walk all the way over to the room and get right next to her friend that had given her her present and just stare at them...I guess that was her way of saying thank you!! Anyway...we had cake and ice cream and them just played around. It was a lot of fun. I'm glad that I took the time to do it! She is such a doll and is so sweet!

I am soooo mad that I don't have a camera. about 10 years ago I bought a Cannon Rebel EOS 35mm camera. It was the best camera that I have ever had, and I ALWAYS had it with me and I was ALWAYS taking pictures. Well, it broke. Then last Mothers day Kevan bought me a digital camera and that broke too!! I miss taking pictures of my sweet beautiful children! I am trying to save money for another really, really nice camera but my fund keeps getting lower and lower! I hate being poor!! I hate it!!! I'll get over this junk soon though don't worry. I am determined to make it!! I'm just having a bad day!

I feel bad that it has been a month since I've written! The funny thing is that I have a really nice new computer at home but I'm don't have the Internet. I always think of cute funny stories of my and my kids, but I can't spend time at work putting them on my blog! Dang it!!

Tristyn's birthday was on the 16th of March, he turned 1!! Oh my little baby!! Emerald's birthday was in the 24th and she is 3. Wow!! I have pictures, that I need to post, I just need to find the time to do it!

Life is crazy that's for sure. Navek is off track the whole month of April! It's fun for a little while then he starts to get bored with just hanging around the house. He's not used to me having to go to work everyday either. He is at school while I'm at work! He is going to start soccer this weekend. That'll be fun for him!

Yzabelle is going to be starting Kindergarten in July (we have year round school here...I hate it!) I am so excited, but a little nervous for her. She seems to be doing really good in pre-school. She is talking more and using her hand more and more! She amazes me with all of her accomplishments. We are going to start her in a regular classroom and sees how she does with that. She will be pulled a couple of times a week for special ed, speech, and OT. So that will help her a lot!

Emerald, like I said before, just turned 3! She is such a sweet girl! She is really good at playing with Yzabelle. Emerald understands everything that Belle says, so it makes playing a lot easier! She loves to push her brother outside in the swing. She loves to play with her baby dolls and she loves to dance and sing in the living room. I am going to try to get her into a pre-school for next fall. She really wants to go to "school" like Belle and Navek. So I really need to do that for her. She is one that is a really fast learner! You should see this girls hair. It is...well...white!! I love it.

Tristyn, is just so cute and funny and sweet. I can't say enough good things about this kid. He is a true blessing. He started to sleep through the night, AND I can just put him in his bed and he will fall asleep. Who'd a thought that this was possible. I put him in his bed and he goes to sleep. NO crying, No nothing....sleep....AAaahhhh!! He loves being outside. He would stay outside all day if I would let him. He seems to ALWAYS be happy and smiling. I love him, and all my kids soooo much. They are a joy and a source of true happiness for me.

As for me, well, I'm alive and kickin'!!! I am still at Farm Bureau and have decided to study to get my P & C license (property and causality) so I can make more money (hopefully) and I will have more authority to bind and write policies. I hope that it will be a positive experience for me, and all will go well with it. Life has been good to me. I am feeling really good about myself and don't mind little trials that seem to sneak up on me!!

Outta Shape

Okay, last Thursday I played church basketball! It was sooo much fun. I haven't played for at least 2 years, but I scored 8 or 10 points.Maybe I'll just say 10...double digits...awesome! I couldn't believe how out of shape I was. I was panting up and down the court trying to keep up. It was pathetic!! I was breathing like a fat person and by boobs were a flappin up and down the court as well. Sometimes I think that maybe if the flap enough they will eventually get smaller...they will want to loose weight or something. I should just start saving my money for a boob reduction and lift if I ever want them to go down. Ahh well!!

My friend Missy had a funny comment on my last post. Yes, I will admit I love to dance, so maybe that's where Tristyn got his little bee bop from. When it's time for us to do chores I will put on this mixed CD that I made and the kids and me will dance around the living room for a little while. I take turns carrying them around and twirling them and stuff. It's so fun. The CD has just a bunch of mixed songs: rock, disco, oldies etc... they call it the "shake your bootie" music. Aahhhh good times!! I just wonder what people think when they drive by my house!!

Just Checking in

I'm sure that EVERYONE checks my blog EVERYDAY and has been worried and anxious about me and what I have been up to!!! No worries though!! I'm here and I'm alive and doing just peachy!!

I took off the first 2 weeks in Feburay...the lady I work for is so awesome! The first week I had strep throat...and lost my voice for about 4 or 5 days. I went to the doctor and got a pennicilin (sp?) shot. It hurt, but it worked like a charm! I started to feel better about 24 hours after I got it. I am so grateful though...none of my kids got it...how lucky am I??!! So anyway, I took off the first week just because I was sick. Then I figured that I needed to take another week off just to re-energize and regroup from being sick. It was nice to just relax. I have been going, going, going, since October...non-stop!! I kinda was able to get my house in order and spend some unrushed time with my kids!

My kids amaze me! They are so wonderful. Tristyn started dancing...it is the cutest thing I have ever seen! He will hear some music and stand up, if he's not already, and very carefully bop up and down, by bending his spread apart legs! I love it, the kids think that it is funny to. I don't think that he knows how cute he is when he does this. The other day my phone started to ring, it has a cool funky ring, and Tristyn looked around and stood up and started to bop up and down. It was so funny! Sometimes he will get going really fast and fall, but he will get right back up and go at it again!

I will write more later!!

Walking

Tristyn thought that it would be cool to start walking. He is so funny when he does it though. He will be crawling, then he will stand up and slowly start to walk til he feels like he is going to fall then take as many steps as he can till he actually does fall. He keeps his balance with his little hands and arms, it is so cute to watch. He is so short, but to him...I'm sure that he feels so much taller standing then crawling! He is 10 months old today. Too early to start walking in my opinion, but he just wants to keep up with older brother and sisters! What a joy to have in my life. I call him my "little man" it's kinda my nickname for him

The other day I was hurrying up Navek to get ready for school. I said something like "Hurry Navek, it's almost a quarter after!" He thought about that for a second and said "Mom, will it ever be a penny after?" What a smart little brain! I did my best to explain what a quarter after means but I think that's over his head right now!!

What will they think of next?

Lately Emerald hasn't been wanting to get buckled up in her carseat. It must be annoying and uncomfortable to have a big puffy coat on and be bucked in a seat like that. I think that she feels like she can't move at all. Anyway, I was trying to persuade her to get in her chair and I said something like "You need to get in your seat it's the safest way to drive, how else are you going to me safe?" well she kind of looked around and said...dragging out her words..." Hoowwww about I hollld on toooooo thisssss" then she grabbed the back of my chair... and held on to it really tight! Too safe!! She cracks me up.

We bought a frog at a fair that we went to in July for the kids. It was just a tiny little thing. Well one day I was cleaning out the jar that he was in and I put him in a little dish. I went back later in the day and the frog was gone. I asked Yzabelle if she had seen it because it seemed like she was keeping an eye on it. She didn't know. Well, as time went by I kept wondering what had happened to the poor little thing. About 2 weeks ago i opened up the silverware drawer and was looking all the way in the back for something and saw a tiny little dried up frog laying under some plastic ware. The girls were very interested in the dead frog. I picked it up with some gloves and put it in the trash can. Yzabelle went over and looked at it and was totally fascinated by it. Now (that happened like a month ago) she loves to talk about the "fwaag". Every day she will get a piece of paper and either draw or paint a picture of a frog. Then she will fold it or cut it. The folded paper always goes into a plastic sandwich bag. She will carry it around all day. The cut up paper she puts in a cup with a little bit of water and also carries that around all day. I don't mind too much because it gives her something to do!